Football royalty gathered at the Theatre du Chatelet in Paris last night, for another edition of the annual Best FIFA Awards.
The ceremony has been honouring the ‘Best’ in Football ever since its rebranding in 2016, with the awards on offer covering a variety of categories.
Normally, the criteria for qualification lie heavily on a player’s performances with their club, but with this being a World Cup season, that yardstick was thrown out the window.
Last night’s ceremony was essentially an Argentine affair, as the World Cup holders had 4 separate winners, all awarded for their contributions to La Albiceletes’ triumph.
Emiliano Martinez picked the Best Goalkeeper honour, while Lionel Scaloini won its managerial equivalent.
Argentina’s third-winner on the night was undoubtedly the most obvious, as Lionel Messi lifted his second Best Men’s Player of the year award, beating out the likes of Kylian Mbappe and Karim Benzema.
In fact, the entire night seemed to revolve around the PSG superstar, who strutted about with sizable confidence knowing that the award was practically locked in his trophy cabinet already.
The presence of his peers held little significance, as all of them were effectively dwarfed by Messi’s aura.
Fans tuning into the ceremony took note of this, and they even spotted a notable casualty of the forward’s machismo.
The discovery was made through this image featuring Liverpool’s Virgil Van Dijk standing next to the Argentine.
Fans quickly flocked to the picture and proceeded to give it the ‘cock shame’ treatment.
For the uninitiated, ‘cock shaming’ is an online trend conjured up by Twitter folk, one which measures attitude and confidence with an individual’s pelvic tilt as the yardstick.
It also factors in numerous other imaginary criteria, for instance, a ‘zesty smile’ or even foot placement for that matter.
All in all, it’s an unironically funny concept, and at the centre of it is the aforementioned ‘cock’.
In the case of Messi and Van Dijk, all the male dominance points went to the Argentine, the reasons for which included a relaxed grip, vigilance, and of course, ‘cock-fidence’.
The centre-back, on the other hand, received a rough appraisal, as fans took issue with his zesty smile and his use of the Best Award to cover up the ‘cock’.
There’s plenty of irony in the concept of a 6 ‘5 behemoth being cock-shamed by a petite 5’ 7 man, especially when you consider that it’s 18-year-olds on Twitter passing judgment.
But for now, we choose to overlook that and promptly get off the Internet instead.
