After a goal-laden Saturday, we could have forgiven the Premier League with a slightly duller Sunday.
It seems, one of the two games played did not get that memo.
The much-awaited Manchester derby surely delivered, at least for the blue team, who won 6-3.
The other match, played after the derby, did not even try matching the energy and enthusiasm of the previous game, ending in a snail-paced 0-0 draw.
Well, unless you are on a social media detox or living in a cave, you probably already know what this man did yesterday.
It was men against boys at the Etihad and leading the men was this Norwegian, scoring three and assisting two. Add a neat 3 BPs and his total goes up to 23 points for the week.
Three back-to-back home hattricks take Haaland‘s total to 14 goals this season.
He is going to break all sorts of records, isn’t he?
Most captained, as usual, and owned by 82% of the teams, has there ever been an asset as guaranteed as this one in FPL? I surely can’t remember.
It does not happen often that you score a hat trick and are still not the talk of the town. But this is the sort of anonymity you have to suffer from when your teammate is a certain record-setting striker.
Foden opened the scoring in the derby and went on to help himself with two more, finishing the game with 19 points.
Consolation prize for the red half of Manchester, as Martial came back from injury and scored two goals, one of which was a penalty.
Owned by only 0.6% of teams, the Frenchman could be worth keeping an eye on.
It is telling that a goalkeeper was the man of the match in a game that finished nil all.
Meslier made six saves to secure his clean sheet, earning him three bonus points and 11 overall, which made him the highest-scoring keeper of the week.
Manchester United Back Five
Varane’s game ended at the 39th minute with an injury and so was the only one of the defenders not to get negative points.
Come to think of it, he may have faked it to save some embarrassment. Who knows.
Our differential captaincy pick for the week did not cover himself in glory at all this weekend.
Booked already in the first half, Sinisterra had a brain-freeze moment when he blocked a free kick by standing too close to it, earning himself a second yellow card and a sending-off in the 47th minute.
The midfielder finished with -2 points and will miss the next game against Crystal Palace.
The highest-owned defender failed to make an impact on either side of the pitch, shipping three goals and not scoring or assisting any of their own six.
Ending the week with only a point, Cancelo will soon be facing competition for his top spot given his fixtures and blank GW12.
With one more match to go, managers will be hoping that their players can deliver in what has been a glass-half-full kinda gameweek.